Tuesday, July 7


I don't remember how old I was when I decided I wanted to be a writer. All I know, is that since then the desire to create has consumed me. However, perfectionism has become my downfall. Its fed off the doubts I've willingly handed it, and tainted the only thing I've ever purely loved doing.

I'm eighteen now, and after so long, this is the first time I've ever considered doing something other than writing.  There are options which seem more realistic, and would make me more money for me than the meager life of  a writer. The question is though, could I put to rest the one thing about myself I've always been sure of? That I could write, and that if everything else failed, I would always have my writing. I've compared my talent with so many others, that in some ways I've pulled apart the threads to the canvas I was just beginning to design. There were choices that I made; choices of comfort over trying something hard.
Last night was the first time I felt regret for being who I am. How can I go back to a life of normality, when I've tasted such raw magic? ---But, how can I continue on, when with every step my desire to make things perfect destroys just a bit more of the dwindling pool of creativity I have left.
There are questions. So many questions. What will I do with my life? Is my writing salvageable?  How am I going to pay for college? Should I major in my second love, science? Why are people so hard to work with? Science is so hard, can I really do it?
Yet it all comes back to just one simple thought: I love writing, with a passion nothing else can touch. I want to spend the rest of my life trying to improve it, I don't care how I have to do it.


  1. Lynds, don't you ever stop writing! Yes, do something you can live off, like teach or practice the sciences, but always have time for your writing, always have time for that individual flame. Even if you doubt yourself, trust me that all you do is absolutely brilliant and amazing, and I fall short of words in awe of every poem, every essay, every thought you have. I can't even compare with your skill, and I adore it. A dwindling pool of creativity? If yours is dwindling, mine is merely a drop. Lyndsey, you are amazing. Combine your creativity with your common sense, and use both. :)

  2. Amazing words, and I can relate to everything you're saying. I have been told that writing will not necessarily get me a good/well-paid job, but you know what? I don't care, because writing is what I am meant to do, regardless of what happens. I feel in my heart that it is the one thing I love, care about, and am capable of success with. At times, my perfectionist side comes out and makes me feel less confident about myself, but that's totally normal. We all get it more than once in our lives. And I'm just going to accept it when it happens, but also say to myself: I can still do this. There'll be good and bad days, but I can do it.

    And if your writing continues to be as beautiful as this blog alone, you will go far; I am sure of it. Just keep at it. :)

  3. Lyndsey, don't stop writing! Your blog is amazing, as it always has been, and your writing even more so. Even this post is written with the same care as a poem or prose, and your choice of words leaves me in awe. You should definitely practice science, if that is what you want, but you should never stop writing.

    I missed you! I remember that you were my first 'blogging friend'. Glad to know you're still here. :)

  4. You never have to stop writing, but if you do love science it is possible to combine the two. Many scientists are creative - even the creator of Spongebob was a scientist! So do whatever you love... maybe you want to study elephants and write stories about their lives and science and writing suddenly become so very important. Or maybe you don't need science at all. All I can say is you write so very well and that should never, ever stop.


  5. I go through this about 10 times a day. I have so many things that I want to do, but I am determinded to do them. Whether or not they pay a lot. But I understand what you mean. Making a living- a comfortable life with talent alone, sometimes isn't enough. But hey, you only live once, right? We'll in the body, yeah.

    I say keep writing ('cause you're damn good at it) and explore other options. There's nothing wrong with that. It's a change that all of us go through I think. As we are evolving into new people. So we have to question ourselves to make sure that new person can handle the passions and things to come in the future. Our wants.

    Anyway, I probably made no sense at all. I'm terrible at expressing my thoughts, and especially when trying to help someone. I hardly know my own problems! :P

    ^______________________________^ And long time no see!!

  6. If you're lucky enough to be passionate about something, please don't give up on it! I'm a receptionist. I sit at a desk for nine hours a day, answering phones and forcing a smile for everyone who walks in the door even if I'm having a horrible day. I'm lucky to have a job with decent pay, but am I passionate about filing papers and making copies? Definitely not. I've had a lot of trouble deciding what to do in college too. I'm really jealous of your joy and skill for science, a career in that field is sure to be profitable! Whatever you do, pick something you enjoy though. Always make time for what you love doing. Get a job that will allow you to live comfortably, but definitely keep writing. There's nothing worse than working a job that makes you dread waking up in the morning.


You don't have to read these posts. Because of that, I ask that you are respectful when disagreeing with my opinions. I appreciate your support and comments, thank you!