Now I'm supposed to look at you
Like you don't mean anything at all.
You were my sun- my world
You were my everything-
and now I'm supposed to stop it all.
You were my life,
and now I'm alone in this petulant silence.
And I know if you could see me,
you would shake your head.
You might even hate me for it.
Because still
I love you,
though your gone.
I love you,
even as I lay here alone.
I love you,
even though the clouds have swallowed this world
in a whirling cocoon of blood raining darkness.
It's that part of me-
the one who loves still-
that's struggling to move on.
I tell myself that eventually,
the girl who was born when I fell in love-
will fade-
locked tight in a cage of thorns and cold iron-
But it's now that I watch her howl in misery.
It's now that I hear her cries when darkness falls,
It's now I feel the emptiness within her soul,
It's now I endure her pain as she shudders against the wall.
What scares me most about watching this creature twist and burn with fire,
the inhuman keels that make me want to cover my ears,
what scares me most isn't her shattering life,
it's that I know,
that girl is me.
Stories tell me,
As time passes,
she will collect dust
and wither away.
but after being her for so long-
then trying to be me...
Its like dying,
and being reborn.
Watching an image of myself peeling away
a life I knew dissolving
a world I loved exploding
a silent death into nothing.
The aura of you soaked into my skin,
I'm watching it char my limbs.
And I'm hating that your okay,
so I try and smother this away,
But now I'm rupturing from every seam.
And so
We break- in order to forsake the promise-
that we meant something to each other.
We look away - because our hearts are our own again...
I'm hollow- because no matter the distance,
I've never been this far away from you.
My heart's crippled by the pain I'm suffocating in,
by the silence I have made of my own.
I can't even bare to look at your face anymore,
just the thought that I'll have to read your words and know they no longer mean anything-
Terrifies me to the bone.
And so
I just keep bleeding,
My insides swell in hot waves of nausea,
my dream's no longer lay dormant,
my body feels as though it's shutting down.
Every part of me is screaming for someone,
anyone,
to help me.
So this is the end,
just letting our hearts fall to pieces
with words meant to be caged
words meant to kill.
Now I draw comfort from strangers,
their words empty against my ears.
I drown myself in the woes of others,
hoping that I can disappear.
In a city of a billion of lights-
where you were my fallen angel-
I now lay here alone,
whatever you feel.
Part of me hopes that maybe you understand 1/16 of the consuming pain I'm in.
You were my everything-
and now I'm supposed to stop it all.
You were my life,
and now I'm alone in this petulant silence.
And I know if you could see me,
you would shake your head.
You might even hate me for it.
Because still
I love you,
though your gone.
I love you,
even as I lay here alone.
I love you,
even though the clouds have swallowed this world
in a whirling cocoon of blood raining darkness.
It's that part of me-
the one who loves still-
that's struggling to move on.
I tell myself that eventually,
the girl who was born when I fell in love-
will fade-
locked tight in a cage of thorns and cold iron-
But it's now that I watch her howl in misery.
It's now that I hear her cries when darkness falls,
It's now I feel the emptiness within her soul,
It's now I endure her pain as she shudders against the wall.
What scares me most about watching this creature twist and burn with fire,
the inhuman keels that make me want to cover my ears,
what scares me most isn't her shattering life,
it's that I know,
that girl is me.
Stories tell me,
As time passes,
she will collect dust
and wither away.
but after being her for so long-
then trying to be me...
Its like dying,
and being reborn.
Watching an image of myself peeling away
a life I knew dissolving
a world I loved exploding
a silent death into nothing.
The aura of you soaked into my skin,
I'm watching it char my limbs.
And I'm hating that your okay,
so I try and smother this away,
But now I'm rupturing from every seam.
And so
We break- in order to forsake the promise-
that we meant something to each other.
We look away - because our hearts are our own again...
I'm hollow- because no matter the distance,
I've never been this far away from you.
My heart's crippled by the pain I'm suffocating in,
by the silence I have made of my own.
I can't even bare to look at your face anymore,
just the thought that I'll have to read your words and know they no longer mean anything-
Terrifies me to the bone.
And so
I just keep bleeding,
My insides swell in hot waves of nausea,
my dream's no longer lay dormant,
my body feels as though it's shutting down.
Every part of me is screaming for someone,
anyone,
to help me.
So this is the end,
just letting our hearts fall to pieces
with words meant to be caged
words meant to kill.
Now I draw comfort from strangers,
their words empty against my ears.
I drown myself in the woes of others,
hoping that I can disappear.
In a city of a billion of lights-
where you were my fallen angel-
I now lay here alone,
whatever you feel.
Part of me hopes that maybe you understand 1/16 of the consuming pain I'm in.
But that stupid, Idiotic side of me...
Just wants you to be happy.
Stay away from me,
I can't let you see me like this.
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