One of the things I find most peculiar about the human race, is our way of prioritizing what we see, over what we feel. I'm sure you've all heard the expression, "it is what’s on the inside that matters." -but if this was really true, why is so much of our time spent devoting ourselves to the cause of looking beautiful, rich, and fashionable? We put on such a dramatic show of displaying what we have physically, that often times who we are doesn't even matter. If any of us really believed that what's on the inside is what really matters, then why do we spend so much time checking our hair; buying the right sort of clothes; and covering our faces in paste and glitter?
The sad truth of the matter is, that society today doesn't often judge based on personality. What we physically portray to the world has become such an extensive factor in any relationship -be it friendship, or courtship- that more often than not, we idolize those around us who have pretty faces, over those with real personalities.
This sends so many mixed messages out to the adolescence in our society. On one hand, everyone tells them that what they have to offer is more important than what their visage shows. Yet, in the same juncture we proclaim those words as truth, we turn around, face the mirror, and criticize both ourselves and others because of what we look like or because of what we don't have. In a way, we are training the children in our lives from an early age to focus on their appearance, in retrospect of our conduct towards ourselves, and the way we prioritize physical attributes in others.
Because of the steamrolling roller coaster of heightened standards for physical appearance, it's only natural that the things that we say matter most, really become the things that we wish were what mattered most.
What’s the sad part? It's everywhere. On the TV, with our friends, it’s even painted across buildings in looming, larger-than-life pictures. How do you even begin to escape the warped cage of smoking, spinous brambles that’s burning across our planet, consuming what used to matter and burning it into clouds of sickly black vapor? How do you suddenly change a society, which has sewn seeds of idealism and perfection within the very skin lining our faces?
I'm not going to lie. Looks can sway me in a way I shudder to think about, and fervently, I wish it weren't so. Looks can be one of the most deceiving tools of deception and bedazzlement man has ever crafted. It's almost laughably easy to fall under a spell which relies solely on physical definition. To bring it to a personal level, despite how obvious it might be to most, I still find myself staggering backwards in stupid astonishment as, every once in a while, a seven ton club of ‘real life’ hits me in the face with a rude awakening to the fact that looks matter very little in real relationships. As my wise mother once told me, “When you’re in love, the object of your affection could look like a toad for all you would care.” (However, my romanticized little self still seems to feel that good looks are a solid requirement in a potential spouse, one that is chiseled into a cold, rain drenched stone of cooled crystal. As I quote to my family often, the looks in my future partner have to be an absolute solid ten. Personality should also be a ten, though we get to that point after he’s passes the good looks test.) (Let’s pray that changes, since about three people in real life have managed to fulfil that quota). Moving on though, what my mother said strikes a chord of truth which I hope I will be able to understand with more maturity as I grow older. When it comes to relationships with friends, family, and romantic attachments, looks are not what get you through hard times. Looks don’t make up for the fact that the attractive person of your attention, is about as humorous as a dead slug, and as intelligent as a puff of vaporized H2O floating abjectly in the sky. A person can physically look appealing, while still managing to acquire the dullest personality ever. Sure, you could deal with that for... maybe a year? At your best chances, two years? Inevitably though, at some point you’re going to want someone a little less good looking, and a little more substantial. According to an awesome youtube artist by the name of Adande, his father once told him to go for the ugly girls. Why? Because in all likelihood, the ugly girls will be a lot more real when it comes to how they respect you and treat you. Whereas, a ‘pretty girl’, could opt out for the mentality of, ‘I’m settling for you, doing you a favor, you should adore me because of that.’
On the flip side though, how do you react when you realize that your ‘friends’ just want to be friends with you, because of what you look like or have, rather than who you are. It’s just as powerful of a rude awakening when you realize they would care less if your cold, dead corpse was splayed out nicely in front of them on the sidewalk. In some ways, they view you as some sort of trophy, a friend they can use to parade around their other friends as though to say: “Oh look how cool I am, I’m friends with this person who’s good looking. Points for me!”
If you want my advice with that situation, PLEASE don’t continue with people who seem to have shady motives for friendship, or in the worst case situation, try not to become attached to the people you know don’t have a real connection to you. How can I say this? Because I’ve been in both situations, and you know what I got out of it? I was the audacious moron, who ended up getting too attached to these individual people, and when they decided they were done with me, I felt like they had just set off a supernova off in my heart. No one’s worth your time if you aren’t worth theirs.
We are all made differently in this world, and no matter how much we try and erect a ‘perfect being’, there’s never going to be anyone to perfectly fill that quota. We are each individual, despite appearances, which is something that has become silkily glossed over in this war of social statuses and perfect ideals.
In the end though, it really is what’s on the inside that matters. Taking into account the individuality of every beings’ appearance, basing our concepts of who they are on their face or lifestyle is a frail way to actually lay bare who they are as a person.
At some point in each of our lives, we must ask ourselves if it’s more important to us to choose friends based on their status and attractiveness, or to choose friends who will benefit our lives because of their flavorful, real personalities.