One of the things I find most peculiar about
the human race, is our way of prioritizing what we see, over what we feel. I'm
sure you've all heard the expression, "it is what’s on the inside that
matters." -but if this was really true, why is so much of our time spent
devoting ourselves to the cause of looking beautiful, rich, and fashionable? We
put on such a dramatic show of displaying what we have physically, that often
times who we are doesn't even matter. If any of us really believed that what's
on the inside is what really matters, then why do we spend so much time
checking our hair; buying the right sort of clothes; and covering our faces in
paste and glitter?
The sad truth of the matter is, that society
today doesn't often judge based on personality. What we physically portray to
the world has become such an extensive factor in any relationship -be it
friendship, or courtship- that more often than not, we idolize those around us
who have pretty faces, over those with real personalities.
This sends so many mixed messages out to the
adolescence in our society. On one hand, everyone tells them that what they
have to offer is more important than what their visage shows. Yet, in the same
juncture we proclaim those words as truth, we turn around, face the mirror, and
criticize both ourselves and others because of what we look like or because of
what we don't have. In a way, we are training the children in our lives from an
early age to focus on their appearance, in retrospect of our conduct towards
ourselves, and the way we prioritize physical attributes in others.
Because of the steamrolling roller coaster
of heightened standards for physical appearance, it's only natural that
the things that we say matter most, really become the things that we wish were
what mattered most.
What’s the sad part? It's everywhere. On the
TV, with our friends, it’s even painted across buildings in looming,
larger-than-life pictures. How do you even begin to escape the warped cage of smoking,
spinous brambles that’s burning across our planet, consuming what used to
matter and burning it into clouds of sickly black vapor? How do you suddenly
change a society, which has sewn seeds of idealism and perfection within the
very skin lining our faces?
I'm not going to lie. Looks can sway me in a
way I shudder to think about, and fervently, I wish it weren't so. Looks can be
one of the most deceiving tools of deception and bedazzlement man has ever
crafted. It's almost laughably easy to fall under a spell which relies solely
on physical definition. To bring it to a personal level, despite how obvious it
might be to most, I still find myself staggering backwards in stupid
astonishment as, every once in a while, a seven ton club of ‘real life’ hits me
in the face with a rude awakening to the fact that looks matter very little in
real relationships. As my wise mother once told me, “When you’re in love, the
object of your affection could look like a toad for all you would care.” (However,
my romanticized little self still seems to feel that good looks are a solid requirement in a potential spouse,
one that is chiseled into a cold, rain drenched stone of cooled crystal. As I quote
to my family often, the looks in my future partner have to be an absolute solid
ten. Personality should also be a ten, though we get to that point after he’s
passes the good looks test.) (Let’s pray that changes, since about three people
in real life have managed to fulfil that quota). Moving on though, what my
mother said strikes a chord of truth which I hope I will be able to understand
with more maturity as I grow older. When it comes to relationships with
friends, family, and romantic attachments, looks are not what get you through
hard times. Looks don’t make up for the fact that the attractive person of your
attention, is about as humorous as a dead slug, and as intelligent as a puff of
vaporized H2O floating abjectly in the sky. A person can physically
look appealing, while still managing to acquire the dullest personality ever.
Sure, you could deal with that for... maybe a year? At your best chances, two
years? Inevitably though, at some point you’re going to want someone a little
less good looking, and a little more substantial. According to an awesome
youtube artist by the name of Adande, his father once told him to go for the
ugly girls. Why? Because in all likelihood, the ugly girls will be a lot more
real when it comes to how they respect you and treat you. Whereas, a ‘pretty
girl’, could opt out for the mentality of, ‘I’m settling for you, doing you a favor,
you should adore me because of that.’
On the flip side
though, how do you react when you realize that your ‘friends’ just want to be friends with you, because of what you look
like or have, rather than who you are. It’s just as powerful of a rude awakening
when you realize they would care less if your cold, dead corpse was splayed out
nicely in front of them on the sidewalk. In some ways, they view you as some
sort of trophy, a friend they can use to parade around their other friends as
though to say: “Oh look how cool I am, I’m friends with this person who’s good
looking. Points for me!”
If you want my
advice with that situation, PLEASE don’t continue with people who seem to have
shady motives for friendship, or in the worst case situation, try not to become
attached to the people you know don’t have a real connection to you. How can I
say this? Because I’ve been in both situations, and you know what I got out of
it? I was the audacious moron, who ended up getting too attached to these individual
people, and when they decided they were done with me, I felt like they had just
set off a supernova off in my heart. No one’s worth your time if you aren’t
worth theirs.
We are all made
differently in this world, and no matter how much we try and erect a ‘perfect being’, there’s never going to be anyone to perfectly fill that
quota. We are each individual, despite appearances, which is something that has
become silkily glossed over in this war of social statuses and perfect ideals.
In the end though,
it really is what’s on the inside that matters. Taking into account the individuality
of every beings’ appearance, basing our concepts of who they are on their face
or lifestyle is a frail way to actually lay bare who they are as a person.
At some point in
each of our lives, we must ask ourselves if it’s more important to us to choose
friends based on their status and attractiveness, or to choose friends who will
benefit our lives because of their flavorful, real personalities.
