Fading

 Its funny how,
after so long in the dark,
I can't tell if this is light.
I'm not really sure how to feel about it.
Not sure if I'm on the ground.
 I understand now,
why someone would want to rip out their own heart.
To keep it from bleeding...
Stinging like a gushing wound.
I wish I couldn't feel anything.
I wish I was like Ice,
impassive,
cold.
That emotions couldn't hurt me so deeply.
I want it to stop.
Even if it means cutting away what I care about.
I don't want to feel like this anymore.
Its funny,
but I don't even feel like you'll remember me.
 I don't even think you'll care.

Recompense

Knee caps hit the stone floor,
they crack and freeze upon the marble.
Bitter sweet tears, streak down dirty cheeks.
Right before the silence.
Wrapped taught,
against the lofty pillar.
Inky cords biting into pale flesh.
The ripe sent of blood fills the frosty air.
Not a sound is to be heard.
Fingers scramble in the dirt,
searching.
Connecting.
Grabbing hold of the only thing left.
Stillness.
Silence.
A heaving breath tears from her lungs.
As she clutches cold fingers.
They don't squeeze back.

Morgana Pendragon

 

If you have seen the TV show called 'Merlin', a BBC production, (go figure, they always make the best stuff), then your probably going to think I'm insane when I say this.. So here goes.
Out of all the shows I've ever watched, and all the books I've ever read, to this day Morgana Pendragon remains in my top favorite character's list. If you've seen Merlin your probably experiencing some degree of shock at this moment. How could I love such an evil, brutal character?
To me there is so much more depth to Morgana then a lot of people realize. She became the malevolent person she was, by her own fear, and hatred of her father the king. I can understand that, she suffered in paranoia wondering if what she was made her a bad person. When she met her half sister Morgase she was introduced to a new world, where magic wasn't feared, and where Morgana herself was someone of power and prestige. Who can blame her from leaving behind the cage Uther had created for her, and joining her sister, the one person Morgana felt loved her for who she really was. Morgana didn't leave much behind as she entered her new life, except for a version of herself. Someone who was truly kind, and cared about others. Eventually, hatred, revenge and other feelings erased that from her completely. She became the enemy most of us know her as.

   Even though she changed so dramatically, leaving the good side for the bad, I will always love her. You can just see the pain in her eyes as she does things she knows are wrong. To some degree, I think she feels there is no other choice. Morgana wants to free people with magic from the oppression they have suffered under, but at the same time her desires are more personal. I think she wants to take Uthers place to prove that she would be a better ruler then he ever could.
   This is where your going to be flabbergasted... The main character in my book is actually loosely based off Morgana in  appearance and personality. Not only is Morgana a character I can relate to, but fitting into her comes like second nature. So you can see what a big fan I am of her now!
One thing that never changed though was her love for the druid boy. Not only did she take a huge role in saving his life, it was like she became his mother as well. The one person Im certain she loved was the boy, even if she cared for no one else besides him and Morgase.
If you haven't seen Merlin, I sugesst watching it! Its pretty clean for the most part, and if not I probably skipped the episodes so I couldn't tell you much about them even if you wanted me to. Thanks for reading!

In Black and White...

Am I the only one breathing this lie?

In black and white.

My eyes look,

 but I can't see.

The world looks fake, I can't see beauty anymore.

It's like somethings gone.

A film pressed over my iris.

To suppress the world.

In black and white.

The smells

once to alluring.

Are only memories now.

 In black and white.

I stand in the same places I once loved,

But they aren't the same.

Life plays like a film.

No emotion can break my hardened shell.

Nothing is real.

My eyes look,

 but they cannot see.

I'm trapped in a body of stone.

 Choking on my immunity.

Choking on the walls that trap me

 in this mortal form.

In black and white.

-Lyndsey Evenstar